No sex for me…really???

older-couple-couch

I told him that I had not had sex in over 4 years, and that I did not want to have it again until I knew that I was with the person that I was going to be with.  He looked at me, smiled, and said “OK”.

I do not make good decisions when sex is involved, so I took it off the table.  I stay with people longer than I should…good sex.  I end things with people probably before I should…bad sex.  Not good decisions.

Is it possible for a person over the age of 50 to date without sex especially when you have had it before, and liked it?    I don’t know, but I am going to find out, or at least I am going to try. (If I fall of the wagon, oh, well…)

Let me first start off by saying that I am not opposed to sex.  Actually, it is pretty great thing, a wonderful gift from God that once you receive it, you are eternally grateful.   Very grateful.  I have recognized that there are times, when moving forward in a relationship, at least if sex is involved, my decision-making process becomes warped and in many cases just plain unexplainable.  It is also explains James (both of them), Michael, Joe, and especially Terry…lol.

There is something to be said for the theory that you leave a bit of yourself when you are involved in physical intimacy with someone.  Sex takes your “relationship” to a different level, with a set of different expectations, and many times we are not ready for the next step.  We confuse having sex with someone as being in a relationship with them, and that is not the case.  It just means that she accidently  got wet, he got a hard on, they met in the middle, and then it was over.  Hell, most of us don’t even know what good sex is, because we have never taken the time to find out what really turns us on, or we become too scared to say for fear of them not understanding you and your body.  And if we are too afraid to tell our partner what makes us filled with desire and passion, what makes us wet and our nipples hard, are you really ready to be in a relationship with them?

When we base our feelings on literally how we feel when our yahoo is fingered, touched or rubbed, then we forget what we are left with when the rubbing stops.  When the rubbing stops, he still smacks his food, doesn’t clean up behind himself, still hasn’t introduced you to his family or friends…that is what happens when the rubbing stops.  When he finds someone younger, prettier, tighter than you.  When someone easier comes along, that does not question or nag,  what happen to us?  We don’t quite remember that while we were “easy” there is always someone easier, and do we want someone who goes for or is that easy?  Life is hard, why should I be easy?.

I want someone who will jump through hoops for me.  I want someone who will wait until it is right for us, whenever right is and however right comes.  I want to know someone intimately in a spiritual way.  I want to share the intimacy of laughing, the orgasm of sharing joy and shedding tears, the penetration of my mind, caressing of my heart and the joining of one with my soul.

That type of relationship does not come with easy, that comes with work, hard work. That kind of relationship does not come with sex.  It comes with being safe and open to being vulnerable.  That type of relationship is founded on friendship, understanding and misunderstanding.  It is birthed in faith in each other, and knowing that at his core, he is who he is.  This relationship has a foundation of trust, love, commonalities, differences, knowledge and exploration.  It does not happen overnight, but over time. It comes with communication.

That comes with you not trying to talk my panties off nor me whispering in your ear to make your dick hard.  No, I want the real next level.  I want you to go deeper than your penis ever could.

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