A message is a message and that is all it is…

You don't need your girlfriends to interpret your messages...

You don’t need your girlfriends to interpret your messages…

We have all done it before. We may not admit it, but we have done it. We say that we don’t do it, but as soon as we get one, the silliness begins. You know what I am talking about, reading and rereading a text message, e-mail, or voice mail sent to you by the “man in your life” over and over and over again. We are trying to delve into the hidden meaning of his words, how his voice was inflected on this word and not on that. We call our friends and get their opinions on what he “really” means by the phrase “I’ll call you later”. For Pete’s sate, it’s a message, not the Constitution, you are not to study it, you are just to read it.

People tell us who they are every day, and we just choose not to listen to them. Why? I don’t know, if I did know, I would be rich. We have a tendency to want our hopes and dreams to be reality, and they are really just hopes and dreams. We want someone who will love us for the way we are, but do we really know who we are? We want to be talked to, held, hugged, and kissed. Someone who will hold our hand, opens the door, and to be our protector. But we get confused when we try to over analyze what he has clearly stated where you stand in this “relationship”.

So when he tells you by showing you that he only wants to have sex with you. What do we do? We confuse the sex with an intimate relationship. We believe we are all that and we can change his mind. We re-interpret what he is saying to fit what we want to hear, refusing to hear what was said. It hurts us to accept the reality of what he said, so we choose at that time to have selective hearing. He is showing you where he places you in his life. You are either extraordinary or average, and it is up to you to either accept it or walk away, but you can’t change it unless he wants to.

We begin to believe the fairy tale that we have had stuck in our head for years. You know the one…where we are the princess, and he is the prince. He comes to us on his white horse (BMW) and takes us to his castle where we will become the queen of the manor estate. And this all happens because we are beautiful little princesses, who deserve this king just because. We will have little princes and princesses, and we will get in the carriage and go to the royal mall, out to eat at the royal restaurant, and go to the royal park where we will swing on the swings until the sun goes down. Then after all the little ones are in bed, you and your king will sit by the fire, cuddled up in a blanket, and look far off in the distance into all that you possess.

Snap out of it!!! It is just a dream. He has told you more than once, that he is not your king. So act like the queen you are and kick him to the curb.

Queen Elizabeth I reigned England as a single woman. She squashed the Spanish Armada that came to invade her country, told her cousin to kiss her royal ass and had her beheaded, and had most of Europe eating out of the palm of her hand. All the while she strung men along to do her bidding. Elizabeth recognized what we don’t, that the power lies in us. I don’t have all day to try to figure someone out, if I wanted to that, I would get a puzzle book. Men tell you who they are; we are the ones that refuse to hear it. Men let you know up front where they are coming from; we want to think that they don’t know what they really want. Then we get hurt, and want to blame them or some other babe that also did not get the message.

Sometimes we need to understand that it is what it is. There really is nothing more to it than that. All the wanting it to be different will not make it change one little bit. So we must take the text messages and voice mails for what they are a voice mail that says what it says. He is who he is and what he is. That can be a protector, provider, lover, head of house, your main man or your Boo. It can also be a cheater, liar, abusive, non-committal type of guy. You need to listen to what is being said, know your worth, and then act like you are worth it. When you know your value and value yourself, you will not have the need to scrutinize every voice mail, figure out every email and investigate each text message. You don’t need to share with your friends what he said or didn’t say, because you know where you stand, and you are standing there because it is where you want to be.

So the next time you get a text…just read it, because a message is just that, a message.

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