I was at a football game recently, and I saw this man that I thought was extremely handsome. He was a big guy, I like ‘em big, wearing this nice black suede jacket and had a beautiful sexy smile. He was head of security at the event I was attending, so I knew he was working and would not have time for a bunch of chitter chatter. I decided my code name for him was going to be “Big Daddy”. I walked past Big Daddy several times during the day, and finally I decided that I would speak to him. Just say hello. And so I did. I asked him how his day was going, told him he looked good in his jacket, smiled and walked on. I also gave him my calling card.
Many times as single women, we wait until we are approached by a man. We wander around aimlessly like a herd of cows, waiting for some cow poke to pull us out of the herd and brand us as his. We also hunt, like wild packs of dogs, circling around a group of young men, giggling, flipping hair, and switching our behinds until at least one of them will notice us. This is usually done by young girls who run in packs at shopping malls, usually on a Friday night or Saturday afternoon, or by old ladies who know better at a club on a Saturday night.
We even call each other frantically determining what we will wear on the hunt. Jeans or skirt. What color lipstick? As a side note, almost every African American women over the age of 40 at some time decided that frosted blue eye shadow was the color for them. It never really worked, and made some of us look really crazy. Many of us wore it because our Caucasian friends wore it. Well frosted blue look better on them than on us….just my opinion…
Anyway, women seem to have the group mentality of finding men. We go out in a pack, flit around like fleas, then get mad when either no one pays attention to us or when one of the herd has been selected.
So I decided that in 2014, I would try something different, and when I see someone that I find interesting, I will be the first one to make that move. And why not, I have a wit and charm and a great personality. I have a wealth of knowledge about a variety of subjects so I can hold a conversation. I am attractive, I smell good, I dress relatively decent …and I am not looking for a man. I am looking for a friend, not the next Mr. Wendy… (that topic is for another blog)
I had some calling cards made a couple of years ago when I moved to Texas, was looking for a job and trying to network in a new city. Yes, they were Vista print – 250 cards for $10. They just have my name, my phone number, email address and that is it. They are not my business cards, I spend too money on my business cards to just give them out all willie nilly like that, but they are nice looking, inexpensive and more importantly they make a great little take away to give to a new friend.
Hey, if he calls he calls, if he doesn’t it’s his loss not mine, I don’t take it personal. I know who I am and I know how much I am worth and I know that not everyone is ready for all that makes up the wonderful gift of friendship that I have to offer. If I see someone that I like, I can approach him and start a conversation and not get my panties all bunched up because he may not be interested. And that is OK. I won’t die, my feelings won’t get hurt, I will not be embarrassed. I will live and move on.
I have challenged myself to ask at least four guys out a month for dinner and/or drinks. And if I feel like it, I might even pick up the tab, cause I am liberated like that. I think that this will be an interesting experiment, and an amazing adventure of discovering more about me. Yes, I will do the asking and not sit around and wait for some man of my dreams to come to me. Because dreams are just that a dream, but to make it a reality, you have to wake up and do something.