Two pairs of shoes…

shoesIt’s date night. My hair is done with little curls and waves, piled on top of my head in an updo. My make-up is immaculate. I even took the time to put on eye shadow, a big thing in my life. My outfit is on point, it makes those parts of me that I love look like…Bam. I drive to the restaurant, and I have purposely gotten there early.
My arriving early has nothing to do with me being nervous. You did just read how I am looking right? No, it has nothing to do with how he looks, I got his picture. This, as usual is an online date. I love online dating. Not being a club person, it makes meeting people easier. I admit, many people don’t tell the truth online, but they don’t tell the truth off line either. If you have not tried online dating don’t knock it till you do. I have met some interesting people online who have become wonderful friends.
Being at the restaurant early is not about me putting on lip gloss or making sure the “girls” are in place. No, I arrive early so that I can see what shoes I need to put on.
Yes, shoes. You see, I have two pairs of shoes in my car. One is a pair of heels and the other a pair of flats. Dare I say it? Yes, I don’t really like being taller than my dates. While I have a picture of my date, many times it is hard to judge how tall he is. There I said it. My one piece of shallowness. (OK, not the only piece of shallowness, but the one I will deal with today) The one thing that I can tend to be extremely prejudiced about. I have work to do with me when it comes to short men…
It seems that 5’ 9” is the international lie that men tell when they are really 5’6” or less. It is the height that men give as if you won’t notice the 3 inches that they are missing. My heels are three inches, I will notice. I must say that I have a nice pair of legs, my calves in particular, are shown in their best light in a stunning pair of heels. In the summer time, wearing a cute dress that comes to my knees, and my legs all greased up and shiny, I mean me and my legs look good.
I am 5’6”, ok maybe 5’7”, and I enjoy wearing a pair of heels. It makes me taller, I feel thinner, and I have that Amazon feeling. All of that can be reduced a bit when he walks up and is 5’5”. The attention is taken from me and is shifted to, well the whole Mutt and Jeff scenario, who is the tall girl with the little man? I admit that this is more of the photo opportunity thing than anything else. I don’t want to be towering over my man while dancing, or taking pictures.
Then there is the other problem. If you ever have meet me, you will notice that I am rather busty, well, very, very busty. When a man is shorter than me, and he goes in for the initial hug, he will end up with a face full of…..well, you get the idea. It is bad enough that I have men staring at them all the time, don’t get me wrong, I have learned at my age to use that as an advantage, and it works many times. What I mean to say is that it is great for the little men. I have seen their eyes get big as they move in for the hug. They begin to imagine their face all up in my brestabusses….I mean really, sometimes I feel like I have to wipe their mouths and wipe my shirt off to get the drool away. Young or old, professional or blue collar, ministers or heathens, they are all ready for a face full of boobies…
So I sit in my car, and wait to see which pair of shoes to wear. If they are as tall as they say, then it is on with the heels. However, if they are a bit on the short side, then it is the flats. I know there are men out there who want an amazon tall woman…want to be able to climb up a tree, so to speak. I am not the sister to help that fantasy come true. However I do go on the date. Hey, a good meal is a good meal, and it is just a meal, not like I am going to marry the guy tomorrow. Am I?

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One thought on “Two pairs of shoes…

  1. Oh how I can relate. I iften refer to the height challenged gentlemen as ‘titty men”! I am sure that is unkind but I sm 6 ft. and I have always worn heels. 5’5 will not cut it for me either.

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