On the eve of my 50th year…

As I come to the eve of my 49th Birthday, I have taken this time to reflect on not only the last year, but also where I am in life.  I tend to do this more on my birthday than I do on New Year’s Day because New Year’s tends to be a giant party where there is little time for reflection.  My birthday allows me to reflect on where I am and where I want to be.  This year is a big one…49. 

It is the last year that I am in a certain demographic when you complete a form.  Soon I will get my AARP invitation for membership.  I will automatically begin to get discounts because of my age.  Fifty is half of one hundred, a half of a century.  That is a pretty big things.  I have persons that I consider dear to me that have not made it this far, taken way too soon, and missed too much.  When I think about these things, I realize that there is so much in life that I miss out on because I put limitations on me.  I allow what my perceptions of what others will think, feel or react persuade me not to even entertain the thought of coming outside of my comfort zone. 

So I have made a list of things that I must do before I turn 50.  It is not a long list.  It is not an expensive list, but it is my list.  I will share with you a few of them, but this list is not inclusive of all the things that I want to do this year…so here we go…Wendy’s 49 list…. This is in no particular order:

  1. Obtain a Boy Toy…every woman of a particular age should have a boy toy at their beck and call.  I want to have one too.  Not to have deep conversations with, just to take out to events, or to have dinner every now and then.  Yep, I think the research and development for this will be fascinating and very exciting.
  2. Go to my college homecoming – Well actually, I went to an all-female college, so in actuality, it is the college across the street from mine, but I want to go this year because I need to.  No, literally I need to go because that was one of the best times in my life, and I miss my Belle Sisters.  It was also a time when taking adventures and doing something new was not as scary as it is today.  Oh to be young dumb and stupid again. 
  3. Run a 5K- Now to my friends that know me know that they have never heard these words come out of my mouth, ever.  I am the chick that parks in the spot closest to the entrance of the store that I am going to.  I have decided that I want to run in a 5K.  Not for the race of it, but for the me of it.  Something so far away from something that I have ever done or even have expressed a desire to do…but I am going to do it before I turn 50…even if it is a year from today.  I will train, in my way, and find a fun one to do. 
  4. Noodling- Yes, I am going to go Hillbilly Hand fishing this year.  I know, not something that may women, let alone African American women do, but I am going to it.  My crazy cousin first said that she wanted to do it and I was going along to support her, but now I want to do it as well.  I see it as a challenge of so many pre-conceived notions that I have about myself.  Things that I don’t think that I can, could, should or would do will be challenged by this experience and as I turn 50, that is something that I need more and more.
  5. Celebrate a new experience weekly- If I have learned nothing else so far in life, it is that new experiences bring growth.  The older I get, the more I realize what I don’t know.  My knowledge is limited because I limit myself to the things I am comfortable with.  So this year, each week I am going to do something that is new for me.  Not all of these new experiences will be planned, some may just come to me because I am open.  Open to the newness of them all. 
  6. Eliminating the words “I can’t” from my vocabulary.  I think there really is no further explanation needed for that.  It is sufficient to say that while I may not say it out loud, I have it on the tape recording that plays in my head.  Some days it is stronger than others, and on those days I have to re-program my tape and remind myself that I can try, and that it is not about being successful at the attempt, but it is the attempt itself that is the success.   

I can’t wait to see how this yearlong celebration of The Celebration of Me will look.  What I do expect is that this New Year will indeed be a New Year.  I look forward to the people that I will meet, the places that I will see.

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3 thoughts on “On the eve of my 50th year…

  1. Keep living Wendy. There was a time I would spring out from my bed, ready for day’s challenges, now when I wake up, I just sit on the side before I stand. A good friend told me this years ago. I laughed it off. Now it has came to pass.

    As you get older, the years go by quick. Here we are in the middle of Feb with two weeks left. March will be here soon. Ive started to forget the smallest of things. Now U have to

  2. Keep living Wendy. There was a time I would spring out from my bed, ready for day’s challenges, now when I wake up, I just sit on the side before I stand. A good friend told me this years ago. I laughed it off. Now it has came to pass.

    As you get older, the years go by quick. Here we are in the middle of Feb with two weeks left. March will be here soon. Im starting to forget the smallest of things. Now I have to log appts errandd

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