Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I could go back in time. You know like back to the future? But to go and pick one moment in time, which moment would it be. Would it be the time I had a pillow fight with my Mother in a hotel room in St. Louis. Or maybe it would be when I was in the first grade my Dad brought my dog Dee Dee to school for show and tell to prove that I was telling the truth all those times I said I was getting a puppy. Would it be the time when my Bennett Sisters would go to a “two to six” frat party at the club, and have no idea of how we were going to get back to the campus. Of course it could be the moment that I first saw my nephew, or when I first heard the words I love you. What moment in time would I pick to return to?
If I could pick one point in time that I could go back to, I think it would be the day before I met you. The day before I met you was like any day in my life, nothing special was going on. It was just another day. It was a day that I really don’t remember except for the fact that you were not in it. The day before I met you was a sunny, cloudy, rainy, snowy, calm and windy day. It was a typical day that ends in “y”. This ordinary day was well, just that, ordinary.
The day before I met you I was with my family, my friends, at work, at the movies, in a mall at the restaurant, online. Yes, it was that kind of day, the day before you burst into my life, was a day like every other day. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was going to the grocery store, filling up my car with gas, minding my own business, laughing and talking on the phone, at the coffee shop. I was excited about the new pants, shoes, bottle of wine, and cooking pot that I had gotten that day. I relaxed that evening with a good book, a mango daiquiri, conversations with friends, a mystery movie and cooked a wonderful meal for myself.
I did not know that the next day my life would change forever, because you would enter it. You would come in and make yourself welcome, intrude in my space, sit your ass on my couch, put your feet under my dining room table and lay up in my bed. That next day you would come and sweep me off my feet, tell me what I wanted to hear, acted the way I wanted you to act, do the things I wanted you to do for me.
I was actually happy the day before I met you. I was sure of myself. I knew who I was, where I was going, and what I was doing. That all changed when you broke into my life. You came in and had no respect for me or what I was all about. You took over, dominated, overpowered. You walked in smiling, but later frowned and growled about how unhappy you were and how I was killing you, and how I did not support you or what you were trying to be in life.
I had things, thoughts, friends, family, and memories the day before I met you. I had a life, and was living it the day before I met you…I was strong and powerful. I was smart and intellectual. I was more than all of that and more than you’re measly old stale bag of chips. I wasn’t your better half, I was your only half because you were not half the person that I thought you were.
Yep, I think I will go back to the day before I met you, but maybe it would be better to go back to the day I let you go….